


Like a man in love

by RoseGoldLaurels



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Character Study, Engagement, Fluff, M/M, Post-Series, Viktor with a K, complementary scenes, just a tiny bit of Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:54:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21893962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseGoldLaurels/pseuds/RoseGoldLaurels
Summary: 2 times Yuuri thinks Viktor might love him and 2 times he confirms it.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri & Victor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 3
Kudos: 88





	Like a man in love

The first time he wondered if Viktor might love him, it was through permission. 

Yuuri got used to little human contact in college, it was a new environment after all, full of strangers; it didn't take him much to grow accustomed to it, he expected it, what he didn't expect was to become touch-starved. He didn't realise what it was at first because his anxiety refused to accept overly affectionate touches from people he wasn't familiar with.

It wasn't until he went back to Japan that he noticed how badly he missed his parent's affection, Hiroko's cheek squeezes, Toshiya's warm hugs and even Mari's playful punches. He loved their touches because he knew them, he felt safe, and loved; he knew the hands that held him would never drop him cold on his feet. 

Then came Viktor and back then Yuuri wasn't sure of anything. The first impression of Viktor he got was that he was overconfident and a little bit too touchy for Yuuri's taste considering he had just met him, but weirdly that behaviour only lasted until Yuuri made his displeasure clear. 

When he ran away from Viktor for the first and only time, Viktor looked hurt, but Yuuri just wasn't comfortable with always touching a man he just met, practically a stranger, luckily Viktor seemed to take the hint and from that point on he was almost too hesitant to touch Yuuri. 

The first contact after that was a simple arm squeeze to show support. To Yuuri it meant much more than that, that arm squeeze let him know Viktor respected him as a person and as a skater, and that he believed in Yuuri enough to abandon everything he knew. He felt good; he felt accompanied in the new journey.

The next significant show of affection was after Yuuri confessed his love to Viktor on live television, he admitted he was carried a little overboard by his nerves, but Yuuri didn't say a single thing he didn't mean.

As soon as he came back to Hasetsu he started feeling nervous at the thought of seeing Viktor again, he didn't know how he would react. He was shaking with excitement and nervousness, would Viktor accept him? Would he not? Would he reject him?

All thoughts were quieted as he went through his home's doors and saw Viktor standing there, waiting for him. His eyes shone with emotion. Yuuri walked toward him, steps shaky and unsure, and faced him.

"Viktor, I-"  
"Yuuri can I hug you?" That surprised Yuuri. He was ready to get rejected.  
"Yes, yes, you can." He immediately found himself enveloped into a warm tight hug, a hug full of acceptance, a hug full of affection.  
"Please make true of your words and hold on to me." That moment was all it took for Yuuri to believe Viktor might love him back.

The second time Yuuri thought Viktor might love him, it was through caresses. 

Since the tentative starts of their relationship, Viktor became freer with his touches. However, none of them were uncomfortable and overbearing like those first few days. They were overwhelming in the right way, a way that left Yuuri dazed and happy. He had grown to know and love Viktor's hands on him. 

Touching Viktor was like a drug, he couldn't be without his touch for very long, and he always kept coming back for more. 

Passion was fine. Passion was perfect, but it wasn't unapologetic passion that made Yuuri think Viktor might love him. It was the quiet moments. The little pauses in their making out in which Viktor would hold Yuuri's face in between his hands like he was the most precious person in the world. The way he kissed Yuuri like it was an honour, like it was a privilege.

It was in the little hand caresses when anxiety was getting too hard to handle, Viktor's thumb running up and down Yuuri's fingers before a competition. 

It was in Viktor's hand behind his head when he leaped into the ice and kissed him during the Cup of China, making sure Yuuri didn't injure himself.

Little touches like that made Yuuri think Viktor was in love with him as intensely as he was in love with Viktor, but what confirmed it was Viktor's trembling hands in his on the night of his engagement. 

Yuuri knew Viktor would be able to tell what his intentions were the moment he asked for the rings, but at that point, Yuuri was too gone to care. He wanted to be engaged to the man holding his hand so badly. He didn't care if his impulsivity ruined the surprise, to be honest with himself he hadn't planned it at all; his love for Viktor struck him like lightning, fast and long-lasting, burning through his veins like lava. He needed to put a ring on that man as soon as possible. He was sure this was what he wanted. 

He made up a lot of scenarios in his head on his way through the cathedral. Him collapsing before even asking, someone interrupting them, accidentally falling while he walked and breaking a leg, Viktor saying no were some of them. What he hadn't imagined was Viktor getting nervous. 

He could feel Viktor's nervousness; he could read it in his eyes, see it in the tremble of his lips and feel it in his shaking hands, but Yuuri knew Viktor enough to realise that he wasn't nervous because of doubt. Viktor was agitated because he was happy, nervousness wasn't the only thing Viktor transmitted, he radiated happiness, excitement, bliss. 

As Viktor let Yuuri put the ring on his trembling digits and put the second ring on Yuuri's finger, softly, like a caress, he knew Viktor loved him.

The first time Yuuri confirmed Viktor loved him, it was through tears.

Yuuri wasn't too proud. He admitted he let his anxiety get the best of him. He still can't believe he almost broke things off with Viktor a day after their engagement, but at that moment he thought it would be the best for Viktor. How could Yuuri keep him from what he thought Viktor loved the most? In his mind, it was selfish to hold on to him even after he asked him too. 

His head convinced him Viktor would see sense in his words and leave Yuuri after the Grand Prix like the months they spent together meant nothing. He downplayed Viktor's love for him like he usually did.

The first cry he didn't take seriously, Viktor said he was angry. He knew how bitter tears felt. It wasn't until they were supposed to go to bed that he realised Viktor wasn't sleeping, he was quietly crying into his pillow, back turned to Yuuri in an attempt to silence himself. 

Each breath intake hurt Yuuri. He wanted to go over there and hug the tears away but, he had taken those rights away from himself, so he settled for trying to sleep to the sound of Viktor's sobs, how could he do this? Viktor loved him, he loved Viktor, and he had hurt him. Yuuri had never cursed anxiety as severely as he did that night. In an attempt to help Viktor, he had shattered the heart of the man he loved.

After the Grand Prix, at their hotel room, he held Viktor like the loved man he was.  
"I'm not leaving." He stated, he wasn't leaving the ice, and he wasn't leaving his fiance.  
He kissed him tenderly, making sure there wasn't a single doubt in Viktor's mind. He couldn't say he was surprised when Viktor started crying once again. He let go of him and looked him in the eye. These tears were different; these were happy tears, a sign of his relief, a symbol of his love.

Yuuri realised then that the ice was not what Viktor loved the most. Yuuri was.

The last time he confirmed Viktor loved him all his doubts were swept away by words and domesticity.

Yuuri used to feel alone when he was a kid, of course, he realises now that his friends, his family, his dog, they all have loved him from the beginning, but sadly he didn't always notice. He used to need the verbal affirmation that he was loved; otherwise, he wouldn't realise. Some days he still needs it. Luckily for him, he was engaged to someone so open with his love for Yuuri that if it weren't for his anxiety, he would never doubt how loved he was. 

Viktor was able to read Yuuri like an open book, see through his barriers and meet him halfway. That's why he started telling Yuuri he loved him several times a day. 

Yuuri first noticed when he moved to St. Petersburg and Viktor had to leave for Nationals. He grew used to Viktor's presence in the last year that in his absence he could really reflect on how his life has changed since Viktor arrived that day in April, stark naked and ready to coach Yuuri. 

He got the morning "I love you" texts, but a text message couldn't compare to Viktor's sweet voice coaxing him out of bed, a good morning kiss followed by a happy sigh and an "I love you". The way he repeated it when Yuuri brushed his teeth beside him, a smile full of foam and eyes sweet with sincerity. The way he said it once again before kissing him goodbye as he left for the rink 30 minutes before Yuuri to start ahead with practice.

Viktor tried to keep coaching Yuuri as professionally as possible. Still, Yuuri knew he couldn't stop the "I love you's" as he nailed a particularly hard jump combination or the ones that followed as he bandaged Yuuri's hurt feet with a care that could only come from pure, unadulterated love.

Back home it continued, he got an "I love you" when Viktor came through the door after his ice time was over, again when they took Makkachin out for her daily walk. He got another one as Viktor tickled him while he tried to put pajamas on, and one last time when they were lying next to each other in bed, looking at the ceiling, their hands tangled together.

A house without Viktor felt like an empty house to Yuuri, that night he couldn't stand the "I love you" text he received, not without hearing Viktor's voice, for an instant, he worried about coming across as needy if he called him. That worry vanquished as he let himself feel the excitement of hearing Viktor's voice. He dialed his number, and his fiance picked up at the first ring.

"Yuuri." The relief in he heard in Viktor's voice lets Yuuri know that to call him was the right choice.  
"Viktor."  
"I miss you so much, my love," he said softly, voice dripping with sincerity.  
"Me too, oh god, I miss you so much." Somewhere in Yuuri's brain, he knew they had to get used to separation, but he paid no mind to it.  
"I love you."  
"I love you too," and not for the first time, as he listened to his fiance's voice, Yuuri knew he meant it and for the millionth time, he felt cherished.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thank you for reading. This is my second fic ever, I would really appreciate your feedback.


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